I often get asked whether clients should talk to their children and family about their estate plan, and I emphatically say, absolutely! Other attorneys may have different opinions, but I see a lot of value in having that conversation. After all, when parents pass away, it’s typically the children who are left to ensure everything unfolds according to their parents’ wishes.
The real question is: how should you approach that conversation? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Every family and every situation is unique, so you have to consider the dynamics at play. But in general, I believe in being candid, transparent, and forthright—just rip the band-aid off, so to speak.
It might be a difficult conversation, especially depending on your family’s dynamic, but the sooner you have it, the better. From my experience, it’s often a good idea to have your attorney lead that conversation with your children. There are several reasons for this. The kids are likely to have questions—about the mechanics of the estate plan, how they’ll be impacted, what they need to do when mom and dad pass away, and more. And realistically, your attorney is the best person to answer those questions.
So, involve your attorney in the discussion, let them help guide the conversation, but most importantly—just have the conversation. Don’t leave your family in the dark. It’s better to address these things upfront so everyone knows what to expect and what their roles will be.